


I Don't Have to Know You

by evanderblake



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage AU, Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage, Ninja Ship Party, Polygrumps, ShipGrumps, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unrequited Love, Whump, this is kinda sad, where they don't love each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13775790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanderblake/pseuds/evanderblake
Summary: Dan had never loved a man, and how he was married to one.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my friend @vziii who honors me](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+friend+%40vziii+who+honors+me).



> Warning for internalized homophobia!
> 
> Part of the Arranged Marriage AU prompt list - I turned it into a soulmate AU as well, because I'm gay for that shit.

Dan sat in the corner of the hotel room, his knees pulled up to his chest as he shook violently. He wasn’t crying; not yet, at least. He was angry. He was upset. There were too many emotions flowing through him for him to process, and so he shook, his forehead pressed into his bony knees, eyes clenched shut.

The ring on his finger felt foreign, like it didn’t belong there. He sat up straight and gazed at the wedding band like it were some sort of monster. Carefully removing the ring, he held it flat in his palm, admiring the intricate designs that covered the silver. It truly was a beautiful ring, though he wished it didn’t belong to him. Not in this circumstance. 

He sighed once more resting his forehead back on his knees, and finally let out a choked sob as he hugged his legs. The suit he wore, now covered in tears and saliva, wasn’t anything fancy. But Dan loved how it looked on him. He had had it tailored to accentuate his waist. It was plain black, with a baby blue floral vest. He truly loved the design… but he hated the reasons he wore it. 

Only three months ago, he was happy by himself. He had learned to appreciate being single, and he wasn’t bothered by it whatsoever, even after seeing all his friends get married. He knew that one day, however, it would all come to an end. The small tattoo behind his ear could attest to that. The initials BW throbbed there, and he wept harder. He hadn’t even known the man he married, and now his life was no longer his own. 

The door to the room opened slowly and revealed his new husband, still dressed in his suit as well, carrying two martinis and a shopping bag hanging from his elbow. Dan thought he certainly was handsome, especially his graying hair and strong arms, but he didn’t care. He didn’t love this man. 

As the man turned to set the drinks down on the desk in their room, Dan caught a glimpse of the initials behind his ear. The realization that there was no other choice for them than to get married hit him harder than ever, as though it had knocked the wind from his lungs, and he wept once more. 

“Danny, wh-what happened?” Brian worriedly asked upon taking notice of his husband’s current state. He rushed to seat himself in front of Dan, being careful not to touch him in any way; he knew how Dan felt about that already, and there was a painful bruise forming on his ribs to prove it. 

“I d-don’t even kn-know you!” Dan sobbed, pulling his legs tighter against him, trying to scoot further away from the man that wore his matching ring. “How is this g-gonna work, Brian?”

Brian’s heart wrenched as he watched his husband endure the anguish that wracked his body. “I don’t have to know you to care for you,” he stated matter-of-factly. He acted as though it was easy for him to drop everything and get married, as though it was easy for him to marry a man instead of a woman.

Dan shook his head, finally looking up to Brian. “Y-you don’t get it. I’ve a-always been with women. I l-love women. I can’t be with you,” Dan spit vehemently, his sobs nearly stopping as rage filled him once more. “I could never bring myself to love you. Never.”

Brian scooted back, creating a larger space between them. In the few months they’d known each other, Dan had barely spoken to him. He had accepted the terms of marriage with blank expressions and monotone voices; only a couple times had they even made eye contact. Brian was passionate about this man, now his husband. He had longed for the day that he would find his soulmate, and upon seeing Dan, he knew that he would love him for the rest of his life. He wasn’t superstitious much, being a man of science, and yet he would absolutely call his experience love at first sight.

Dan had barely noticed Brian’s gaze from across the restaurant where they met. What he did notice, however, was the way he smoothly approached him with an air of confidence. Taking Dan’s hand as he got down on one knee with the rings he had made specifically for that moment, he proposed on the spot.

Dan had no choice but to say yes; for Christ’s sake, they were soulmates! There was no way to say no to that. They had to be together. But Dan never wanted that. He never wanted to be with Brian. And yet he went along with the marriage like he had no choice. And now, trapped in this hotel room on their honeymoon with a man he had no love for, he felt as though he couldn’t breathe. He should have said something. He should have ripped his hand from Brian’s grasps. He should have run miles in the opposite direction. 

Dan was crying again, wiping the tears from his eyes with the heel of his palm, sniffling like a child. Brian gingerly placed a hand on his knee, checking to ensure that this move wouldn’t overstep any boundaries. 

“Don’t cry,” Brian whispered. “I know you don’t love me. All I can hope is that some day you will. And until then,” he paused as Dan looked up into his eyes, tears still streaming down his cheeks. “We don’t have to act like a married couple, or even a couple at all. We can just get to know each other.”

He almost smiled; those eloquent words… had calmed him. 

“But Dan?”

“…yes, Brian?” he replied, his voice soft.

“I… made a promise. That I will love you and protect you to the best of my ability. And… when you’re ready… I’d like to fulfill my promise to you,” Brian said as he took Dan’s hand, kissing it with chapped lips. 

Dan grinned, pulling his hand away, “That’s… pretty gay, Brian.”

The two finally laughed together.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first night together. Awkward in ways you wouldn't expect.

The rest of the night was spent in separate beds with little interaction between the two. It was now obvious to Brian that Dan needed his space, and so he let him have it. This was just as new for Brian as it was for Dan, and although he had appeared quite joyful about the whole situation, in reality he was unbelievably nervous. He needed his own time to process the whole thing. 

Brian, also, had never been with another man. It was rare that two men or two women were made for each other, although it was becoming more and more common these days – or perhaps, more accepted. Some people go their whole lives without finding their soulmates, but Brian had heard from close friends that some people do find their soulmate, but because they happen to be the same gender, they are afraid to marry them. Even if people were meant to be together, it didn’t always work out that way. 

However, Brian wasn’t afraid of what people thought. He wasn’t afraid to find his true love. He was, however, afraid of upsetting Dan. All his life, he’d dreamed about falling in love with his soulmate, about going on picnics during the summer and buying them flowers on Valentines Day… but he wasn’t sure how those feelings translated to a relationship with a man. Would Dan still want flowers? Or would he want something more manly? Would a picnic be “too gay” for him? 

And as he had these thoughts, he realized that… maybe he was gay. In all his life, he had been with two different women, both who shared the initials DA but had belonged to someone else. Both experiences had been… less than satisfactory. He thought that maybe it was just the situation, that maybe the timing wasn’t right or that the girl just wasn’t his type. The wheels continued to turn – were any girls really “his type?” He tried to think of what he had been looking for in a partner, but all he could think of was what he wanted in a relationship, not what he wanted in a partner. 

And now, when he tried to think of what he wanted in a partner, he could only see Dan. In the short time he’d known him, he hadn’t seen him smile more than a few times, but each time his heart skipped a beat or three. The way his long, curly hair framed his chiseled cheekbones, the dusting of facial hair that covered his chin, his sleepy, brown eyes and the scar on his eyebrow… Brian noticed he had been zoning out, and only snapped back to consciousness when he heard Dan calling his name from across the hotel room.

He had just hopped out of the shower, still shirtless with pajama pants hanging loosely on his hips, and his hair flattened down and dripping all down his scrawny shoulders. “Dude, are you okay? You were out of it for a second there,” he laughed anxiously, pressing a towel to his sopping wet hair. Brian snapped out of his momentary daydream and met Dan’s eyes, the genuine concern masked by a nervous grin. 

Brian exhaled exhaustedly. It… had been a very long day for both of them, and it was finally starting to catch up with him. “Yeah, yeah. Just… tired, I think.”

Dan nodded thoughtfully as he finished drying his hair. “I, uh, hope you don’t mind. I sleep shirtless, normally.”

Brian nodded probably too quick, “No, that’s okay! Don’t w-worry about it!”

The younger man chuckled as he walked back to the bathroom, leaving the towel and returning to his bed. 

Brian didn’t want to get caught staring, but god was it hard to keep his eyes off Dan. When he thought about it, he questioned if it was really such a bad thing to look at his own husband. However, the piece of paper, the rings they wore… didn’t mean a whole lot to them. In Dan’s eyes, they were strangers. And in actuality, they were just that: strangers. Brian didn’t know a goddamn thing about Dan, and Dan knew equally as much about Brian. In retrospect, he was starting to understand Dan’s breakdown earlier, and felt as though he might have his own sometime soon.

No. He couldn’t. He had to be strong for Dan. Right now, they were both scared and confused, and quite honestly no one had the energy to cry or to comfort. So Brian nestled in against his pillows, pulling the blankets up to his chin, and started scrolling through his phone, checking emails and texts from various people.

“Should we be like… talking?” Dan asked, brushing his hair out of his face. “Isn’t that what, like, married people do?”

“All people talk, Danny. Not just married people. But yes, if you are equating us to a married couple, as we are a married couple, then yes, typically people talk before bed,” Brian answered, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just didn’t know if you wanted some space or if you were doing okay now.”

Dan shrugged, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “I mean… I just don’t know how comfortable I am sleeping here without at least knowing a few things about you. Separate beds or not, you’re a stranger.”

Brian chuckled, turning onto his side to look at his husband. “You think I might be a criminal? That I might kill you in the night?” he replied with a foreboding tone that gave Dan the chills.

“W-well, no, not that exactly. I mean, I didn’t even fuckin’ think about that until just now, so thanks… for that,” he started to trail off, pulling the blankets closer to him. “I meant like, what are your sleeping habits? So I can, I don’t know, be… prepared for whatever happens when you sleep.”

“You’re asking if I snore?” Brian laughed, mostly to himself. 

Dan was beginning to get flustered. “No! Well, that’s part of it, right? But like, do you sleepwalk? Do you, fuckin’, talk in your sleep? Should I be prepared for screaming and nightmares and shit?” The words seemed to rush out of his mouth too quickly, and Brian caught hints of a Jersey accent coming out with each word. 

“I snore. Quite loudly, I’ve heard. But I don’t normally have waking nightmares, or sleep paralysis, or any shit like that,” he explained, grinning like a madman at the pink blush that covered Dan’s face and neck.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Great. I’m so excited to experience that.” The sarcasm turned into a giggle almost immediately after it rolled off his tongue. “I, um…” he paused, turning serious. “I’ve got sleep paralysis. It doesn’t’ happen as often as it used to, but… it’s something to be aware of. If I start like, screaming or something. It usually goes away pretty quick so you don’t have to be worried or anything.”

Despite Dan’s attempt to comfort him, Brian’s heart started to beat just a little faster. “Screaming?”

Dan nodded, appearing to grow somewhat distant in thought. “Sometimes… I see monsters. And sometimes there’s just a weight on my chest that makes it hard to breathe. But I just get stuck like that for a while, like I can’t move and I can’t scream. When it’s finally over, I scream, mostly just to get air back into my lungs. I’m not… particularly afraid of the monsters or anything. It’s just real freaky.” He was absentmindedly sinking deeper into the blankets, nearly covering his face. 

“Danny…” Brian whispered, wishing he could comfort the man. His husband. He couldn’t even comfort his husband.

That hurt in a whole new way.

Dan sniffed, “It’s okay. I just… don’t want to scare you.”

Brian nodded.

And then they slept. Separate beds, Dan’s music playing softly on his phone, the ceiling fan spinning to cool them off in the California heat, and Brian’s obnoxious snoring droning on. Each of them just a tad less nervous about their situation, and a tad more comfortable with each other.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian has a gift for Dan.

He remembered it being very warm underneath his three, heavy blankets and six pillows. On top of the excess of comforters, the sun shown through the large, paneled window in their room with the only piece of fabric attempting to block the rays being a thin, sheer curtain, which was doing nothing. And the ceiling fan, for some reason, was no longer turning. He couldn’t remember exactly why he decided to have so many blankets on top of him, crushing him as he slept, but he now thought the reason was ridiculous as he was on the verge of heat stroke. 

And yet he didn’t move. 

In the bed next to his, Brian sat straight up, on the phone with someone. Dan had never seen him so relaxed, chatting with whomever was on the line like they were an old friend. Perhaps they were. He tried to listen, doing his best to pretend like he was still asleep. But god, those blankets were suffocating, and although he’d just woken up, he felt like he might pass out again if he didn’t do something about his predicament. 

And so he moved, just a little, sticking a foot out from under the mound that pressed him flat. Brian instantly noticed the bony foot sticking out and hushed his voice, continuing his conversation in a tone that Dan could barely hear. The only words he could gather from the remainder of the call were “tickets” and “soon.” He wracked his tired brain, trying to think of what Brian could possibly be up to. If he’d known him better, this would have been much easier, but Brian was still a mystery to Dan. Those words could mean many things. Perhaps he was going to fly them back to their home, or perhaps he was trying to run away. Maybe he was buying tickets for a show, or for a train. None of those possibilities seemed correct, though. Brian didn’t seem like one to give up, and he certainly wasn’t spontaneous enough to fly them back home after one day of their so-called “honeymoon.”

Dan kept his eyes shut as Brian ended the call. He wanted to ask what the call was about. He wanted to ask if he had already ruined their attempt at marriage. He wanted to talk to Brian. But instead he continued overthinking, which only made him feel worse.

“I know you’re awake. You should take off all those blankets before you start baking,” Brian teased, his voice suddenly closer, louder.

Dan opened his eyes to find his husband towering above him with a smirk. The glacial blue gaze went straight through him, nearly knocking the wind from his lungs. There was nothing more fascinating about him than the way his bright eyes contrasted what Dan perceived as a cynical personality. Dan found himself speechless as he became entranced.

“Uh… do you need help with the blankets or something?” Brian asked after a weirdly long period of silence. He was chuckling softly, attempting to mask the tension that appeared out of thin air.

Dan shook his head swiftly, “Sorry I just… had a moment.” He tossed the layers off him and let the cool air wash over his bare torso, sighing in relief. “ _Ohhh_ sweet Jesus, thank you…”

Brian continued laughing as he turned and walked to his suitcase, packed to the brim with more than enough outfits to last them the week. “As soon as you’re done with your orgasm over there, you should probably get dressed. We’ve got plans today.”

Dan’s face turned bright red at the lewd joke, sitting straight up in his bed. “I wasn’t, uh… never mind. Plans?” he stumbled over his words. 

“Yes, plans. But you aren’t allowed to know what they are. It’s… a bit of a surprise. Call it my gift to you,” he explained, pulling a neatly folded grey t-shirt out of his suitcase. There was a design on the front… it looked like something from an Aeropostale magazine. That was something Dan hadn’t expected, only seeing Brian in formal outfits. He was a professor, after all; it was almost like seeing your school teacher in shorts outside of class.

“You wear normal-people clothes, too?” Dan questioned, swinging his long legs out of bed. 

“Of course I do. I’m not going to wear a suit and tie to the m—I mean… everywhere we go!” Brian caught himself just in time, his cheeks turning pink as he scuttled to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Through the paper-thin walls, he heard Brian shedding clothing, causing Dan’s heart to speed up. Anxiety coursed through his veins, and he felt like he’d been struck by lightning. There, only feet away from him, was a man he barely knew, stripped down. He was overthinking again, but he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering, causing himself to worry more and more.

However, this was his opportunity to have second of alone time. He jumped off the plush bed and grabbed his suitcase, rummaging through his clothes for his favorite light blue V-Neck and dark jeans with huge rips in the knees. He has subconsciously dubbed this outfit as his comfort outfit, something he wore when he was nervous or feeling under the weather; since this was their first outing as a married couple, Dan had an insurmountable amount of anxiety about what others would think, if people would talk, or if they would even notice at all. He slipped on the blue shirt, enjoying the way the soft cotton felt against his skin. It was already working its magic.

Just after Dan had finished buttoning his jeans, Brian walked back out of the bathroom wearing the grey shirt and khaki shorts. Dan had to admit that he was handsome, and that he couldn’t deny the way his half-smile made his knees weak. 

“Ready?” 

Dan nodded. He wasn’t. 

\----------

The taxi arrived shortly after they’d descended the stairs in the hotel, and they rode to their destination in silence. Brian let Dan have the passenger seat probably because they both knew it would be a little too much to be seated so close together in the backseat of the car. From the corner of Dan’s eye he saw the driver’s initials etched behind his ear, a bright, burning ‘NL’ and he wondered if the man had found his soulmate. 

His stomach twisted. 

All his friends, upon finding their soulmates, were almost instantly in love. Of course, all his friends were with people of the opposite gender. They didn’t have this problem that Dan had, and it wasn’t fair. It’s not that he had been searching for his soulmate, or that he even wanted to find his soulmate, but he wanted that closeness that his friends had. Everyone around him seemed so happy with the love of their life, and Dan just wished that he had something like that too. But Brian was the furthest from what he’d imagined. He thought maybe he’d meet a nice girl in a coffee shop someday, or at a concert for one of his favorite bands. He’d never think to meet his soulmate at a Subway, that his soulmate would be a middle-aged college professor, or that his soulmate would be a man. Never in his life would those images have crossed his mind. 

He supposed life just wasn’t going to cut him any slack. 

The taxi pulled over outside an enormous building with a good number of stairs leading to the front doors. The words above the door read ‘National History Museum of Los Angeles County.’

A museum? Really?

It’s not that Dan didn’t like museums, but every museum he had been to had been so overwhelmingly fake, with no real exhibits. He loved dinosaurs – always had and always would – but no exhibit had been able to capture the majesty of those creatures. The cheap, children’s museums he went to as a child were so obviously false; he remembered seeing the texture of plastic on the bones. Dan couldn’t imagine this place being much different.

As they walked up the steps, Brian handed one of the tickets to his husband with a cheeky grin. After taking a deep breath, Dan did his best to put on a smile. After all, this was his wedding gift, right?

He shuddered at that thought, and he was suddenly very aware of how heavy the ring on his finger felt. Would people notice the matching rings? His stomach twisted even tighter, and he felt like he might pass out.

_Calm down. No one is going to notice_ , Dan tried to ration, though it didn’t help the wave of nausea that passed over him. 

He snapped back to reality and noticed Brian holding the door open for him, a mild smirk on his face. Dan must have been standing there for a hot minute because he could sense Brian growing a tad impatient. He couldn’t let Brian down. They both had to put effort into this relationship for it to make any sort of sense, so Dan had to suck it up and humor him. 

He took a hesitant step through the doorway as the breath was sucked from his lungs.

Dinosaurs. Everywhere.

Full-sized, real dinosaur skeletons were everywhere.

“I… noticed the book you brought with was about dinosaurs. A close friend of mine used to work here, actually. All the skeletons are real. I know that’s probably important to such an avid fan,” Brian announced as he trailed behind his husband, who was still awestruck at the towering creatures that surrounded them.

“Br-Brian… I don’t even know what to say! This is fantastic!” Dan squealed excitedly, turning around to face the man.

He could practically hear Brian’s heart stop. Both of their faces turned red as they beamed at each other.


End file.
